Hell on Eight Wheels, Heart on the Track

MONTREAL — Fists clenched, elbows slicing left and right, “Daily Bruise” whooshes past the opposing team’s wall formation of metallic silver helmets, ripped fishnet tights, battered knee pads and rainbow-striped  crew socks. “Kateastrophy”, one of the referees on wheels, blows her whistle over the clamor of polyurethane wheels on the arena’s polished concrete rink and the crowd’s cheers.

It smells like sweat and popcorn, in a comforting way that recalls banal childhood memories: Friday night outings to the ice-skating rink or school basketball games. Tournament participants file into the arena with skates dangling from duffle bags and helmets tucked under their arms while families and friends take their seats, some donning their player’s team colors in face paint.

A sign greeting guests to the Beast of the East roller derby event. [Credit: Emilie Matthews]

Skaters race around a flat track in fast-paced, full-contact bouts. Each team features a one point-scorer, known as the Jammer, who laps around members of the opposing team, while four Blockers clear a path for their Jammer or stop the other team’s.

Shoves. Speed. Strategy.

As the matchup between the Montreal Roller Derby Green team and the Hogtown Roller Derby Purple team winds down, the next skaters roll in, stretching hamstrings, practicing moves with ballet grace and Hells Angels grit, sometimes looping around a tower of Heineken and 7UP cans.

Skaters from all the teams use uniforms and gear to express both their personal style and their derby alter egos. Some take a DIY approach with jack-o’-lantern booty shorts or tie-dye Soffe-style cotton shorts, and player numbers scrawled in black marker on bare arms and the backs of cut-off white tees. Others, like the Atlantic Beer League, take a more formal route, with every player sporting matching orange creamsicle and seafoam green jerseys paired with turquoise crew socks for a polished team look. 

The most well-known and defining feature of a roller derby skater’s alter ego is their derby name. These names strike a balance between clever pop culture references or puns and a sense of toughness, like many of those seen at the Howie-Morenz Arena on Saturday, including “Mrs. Doubtfighter,” “Thing 2,” “Cellester Stallone,” and “Patti Spit.”

When roller skating was invented in the 1760s by Joseph Merlin, women quickly embraced it for the freedom it offered during a time of limited rights. Since the creation of roller derby in the 1930s, the sport has symbolized women’s empowerment by showcasing toughness equal to men’s teams through its full-contact play.

Its inclusive and DIY culture has also made roller derby an important space for LGBTQ+ liberation, celebrating diversity and self-expression on and off the track.

“Elles sont tellement toffes” (Quebec French for “They’re so tough.”)

“Elles sont tellement toffes,” says an admiring spectator to her friend as they sip Heinekens and Cool Blue Gatorade from the bleachers. It’s a statement that feels impossible to challenge, especially over the clanks of plastic knee pads scraping the ground as a skater falls, winces, and flashes a mouthguard.

Sportsmanship truly shines on the rink. Players immediately offer a helping hand to pull teammates back up from their falls and seem genuinely appreciative when high-fiving opponents at the end of a match.

Fans gather to watch their favorites compete at Beast of the East 2025. [Credit: Emilie Matthews]

Meanwhile, other players from certain teams seemed less experienced, “pizza-ing” or turning in on the skates like first-timers to slow down rather than gliding smoothly like a veteran.

For those needing a break from the roller derby whirlwind, an “activity village” is set up between the track and the rows of spectators nestled in their camping chairs to watch from more closely than up in the bleachers. The “village” includes a tattoo booth run by Léon the Kid, a tarot card reading station, and an exhibit of Montreal roller derby teams through the ages.

On the way to the bathroom, spectators pass by the locker rooms. The door to one stands open, offering a glimpse into a quiet post-derby moment. A player slouches on a bench, head tilted to the side, scrolling on her phone, which, like her, needs a moment to recharge. She embodies the stillness of a Renaissance painting, like a modern reinterpretation of Artemisia Gentileschi’s Penitent Mary Magdalene instead titled “Resilience Player XYZ.”

Because that’s what roller derby is really all about — falling, getting back up, and keeping on going.